We’re all a little weird to someone. Often times to ourselves. The true measure of a man is how long it takes him to claim it as his own.
I’m not inside your head, so I can’t speak to that, but if my personal experience is any indication, I believe that most of us live in a series of cycles, or patterns.
In my case, the pendulum swings from full-on intellectual challenge, money, intellectual growth, achievement, earning, power, and learning to full-on spiritual, artsy, personal growth, musical, and philosophical.
While the power of each state can be rather transformative, the in-between can be rather turbulent, and in my own case, has nearly torn me apart more times than I can count. Not to mention that a change in state is often accompanied with simultaneous panic and euphoria. No wonder we’re such unstable creatures.
In my youth, this led to depression, indecision, indiscretion…things that happen when you neither know nor trust yourself.
In my twenties, knowing of these patterns but unable to stop them, it led to a series of what I call ‘unfortunate life experiences’ in which I made plenty of bad decisions and not only wasted opportunities, but burned them and their bridges to the ground.
Now, in my thirties, I feel I’ve finally become strong enough to both recognize and conquer this turbulence in a way that makes me stronger 100% of the time.
Until now, and even still, nothing I ever achieved came easy, in fact, I’ve long thought of calling myself ‘Hard Way Hangen.’
But there’s a certain hardiness that manifests when your body and spirit is forged through pain and intense life experiences. As a result, I feel stronger and more capable than ever.
I used to think that growing old was something to fear. I used to dread suffering. But at 30, already having plenty with plenty more to come, I’ve never been happier.
So I go into the new year, 2013, knowing that it’s going to be a bitch, but also that every step will make me stronger, wiser, and more determined than ever. Here’s to a new year that does the same for you.