07 Jan 2010

It Sucks to Be the Little Guy

Comments
Blogging, Business, Making Money, Motivation

becoming an a-list bloggerThis post is dedicated to two sets of people:

1. Those of you trying to do something awesome with your lives, but feeling left out of the game.

2. Those of you that have become successful, but are too arrogant to remember being anything else.

Welcome to High School

Did you ever notice how some bloggers get cocky once they’ve become popular?

It’s really strange, because you can watch it happen…they form cliques, they have a special “club,” and they don’t let anyone else in. Sorry guys, group closed, go home.

Some just stop producing good content all together and sell, sell, sell, while others treat you don’t like you don’t matter, even though once they were just like you.

Getting in with these groups is tough…almost like standing outside a fancy nightclub and wondering why people keep getting in before you, even though you’ve waited in line for an hour.

Hey Guys, I’m Over Here

Here’s what bugs me about that: When they were growing, they needed more popular bloggers to boost them up. But once they got where they needed to be, they forgot about all that and become “too cool for school.” They literally shut people out.

“Thanks for the support, but I’m on to bigger things now.”

Quite frankly, it sucks to be the little guy, because no one wants anything to do with you. Building a community at that point is hard work. It’s mentality trying, because even though it feels like you’re only talking to yourself, you still have to keep moving forward, as if you were speaking to millions.

You’re trying to follow the advice of an A-List blogger, but it’s not working.

RT’s…nothing
Comments…nothing
Emails…nothing

The Problem


1. Them

Sometimes you feel like maybe you’ve missed the boat. Other times you might question whether some might be intentionally holding you down to avoide the competition. It might not be the truth, but it feels like it.

“Why Won’t People Promote My Stuff?”

It’s strange though, because when you do get past that stage, all of the sudden people are receptive to your emails, Tweets, and, guest posts. Rather odd considering they were ignoring you several months ago. What’s up with that?

I’m not singling out any specific blogger here, as this is sort of a mashup scenario, but you get the point. There are in-groups, out-groups, and those left in the middle.

2. You

Look, I know it can be frustrating to work your ass off and be ignored, but here’s the deal…not every blogger is going to mesh with you. You aren’t going to be able to get a guest post on every A-List blog that you target. Not every blogger will promote your latest project, and reply to every email.

There are bloggers that just don’t have time, and then there are those that don’t want to make it. Your task is to find the ones that can make it and work your way into their circle.

Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? Working your way into a popular crowd seems so 7th grade, but here’s why it happens…

Right of Passage

You’ve got to earn your way into the group. Not because it’s cool to be popular, but because each and ever popular blogger spent years busting their ass. If they promoted everyone that came across their screen, there would be no way to differentiate between the noise.

Yes, some bloggers are just jerks, but many of them just haven’t noticed you yet.

I spent a year linking to guys like David Risley before they knew who I was. I pestered them on Twitter and started submitting guest posts…quality ones. I didn’t get a response to every email, but I just kep trying. Chris Brogan wrote a great piece today (thanks for stealing my thunder Chris!) about how to approach bloggers.

It seems like they’re riding high horses, but they are pitched by so many people that they can only promote the cream of the crop. It’s not intentional, it’s just the way it is. Your job then, is to become the cream of the crop.

Circle of Trust

These “in-crowds” are not just cliques…they are circles of trust. It takes time to build trust with someone, which is why it takes time to get noticed. It’s kind of like earning your way up the Mafioso ladder. You’ve got to do the dirty work first.

Does that make sense?

Now, for those of you that make it…and there will be many of you, I have this to say:

Building a Community

Communities are built with little guys/gals. Not everyone that reads your blog or buys your stuff is going to be an A-List blogger (most of them don’t pay for stuff at that stage anyway)…they’re going to be the same people that you were 6-12 months ago.

Make them feel special, not as just a customer, but as a person. “We Need You to Lead Us,” from Tribes, is the best expression I can use for this.

Prop up the little guy

Instead of turning your back on the little guy, why not embrace them and prop them up? Why not develop talent instead of ignoring it?

The real way to build a community, which is the 3rd tenet of the Beyond Blogging blueprint, is by reaching out to people that need help and treating them well. It involves answering emails and replying to people on Twitter, even if you’ve never met them before.

Be Smart

Look, I’m a businessman, and I understand the principle of leveraging time in order to get more done. I realize that you don’t have time to answer every single email and respond to every comment on your blog or Facebook Fan Page.

It takes a lot of effort to build a solid base, you deserve a bit of a break. That’s why we work hard now right? We do it so that we can retire on the beach and write from our netbook, not spend every day in an office.

But…if you help your customers become successful, then they won’t have time to comment on your blog, so you’re good to go!

An alternative is to simply build them up and then hand control to them. They’ll manage your community for you, as long as you respect them for what they do. It happens all the time on forums…people take ownership because they’re part of the tribe. If you build a tribe and develop leaders, they will essentially become your community leaders. That’s pretty cool if you ask me.

In essence, don’t be afraid to educate your readers and let them do their thing…they aren’t competition!

Ethics in Practice

The “good old boys” club sucks…they miss out on hundreds of awesome people.

I’m not an advocate of sucking up or being fake, but I am an advocate of being real with people and not shutting them out. If you don’t let other, less fortunate but just as deserving, people into your circle, then how are they going to get there?

I see far too little boosting in this community, and it really bothers me. You might not be an offender, but you probably know or read someone that is. What do you think? Do you notice it? Is it as widespread as I let on here, or am I overreacting?

Here’s the takeaway: If the “in-crowd” won’t let you in, then make your own and kick their ass.

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  • jewelrysecrets
    Wow! Excellent post. I'll raise a glass to that, here here! I have felt that all year. All the big guys except for one (Patt Flynn), pretty much ignores me. Granted, I'm in a totally different niche, but I am trying to reach out to people and make friends. I leave comments for them, twitter, retweet them, and I get nothing. Nada! It's people like you who will reach out and talk to people and help them that I feel comfortable with. I'm busting my butt just as much as the next guy when it comes to blogging. I've never considered myself a little guy, at least I don't feel like one in my heart, I've always been a winner and admired, until I tried talking to the big guys. lol They quickly shut me down. Snobs! Lol And with that, I think I will get a drink!
  • It really is frustrating, which is why I think it's important to remember where you came from, no matter how great you become.

    I know what you mean...being little and being made to feel little are two different things. There are a lot of people that fit into the 2nd category that really are capable of big things.
  • Great post Nathan. I'm keeping the approach now of help those who helped you. The online "in crowds" can be vicious and it just takes time to make them look foolish when your presence starts building. I was discouraged before with no RT's and email responses as well and it just became more obvious to me what to do. Do the same things I enjoy when I'm a visitor on someone else's blog: acknowledgement. There is no such thing as a small voice online. The small guys helped me rise online and I hope they join me.
  • I'm all for busting my ass out there and making it some how. That's what it comes down to. Nothing else.

    Great post. I'm Re-Tweeting it for sure. :)
  • Circle of Trust? Wasn't that a Robert DiNiro line on "Meet the Parents"?

    I agree it's tough to be the Little Guy. But if you are truly blogging because it's your passion and you aren't in it just for the gain, you'll get there without all that heartache. I was always impressed with the kids in High School who didn't care who was popular. They did their own thing and earned respect just for being authentic.

    I guess they took the Road Less Traveled.
  • It's too bad that some of the larger bloggers do this. I have received feedback and developed relationships with a handful of B+ bloggers, and it really, really helps when you're getting started.
  • I guess it is typical Brit reverse snobbery but I don't follow and schmooze the A Listers - I'll make an exception in your case ;-) - because I don't want to be seen brown-nosing or sucking up to them. I work in a niche that isn't of (much) interest to them so I'd probably be wasting my time. I remember making a comment about one A Lister and his style of selling on another A Lister's site and got dumped on big time. So now my attitude is screw 'em!
  • I like it...make them come to you instead :)
  • ramonaschaffroth
    Nathan, I don't think that you are over exaggerating in the least! I enjoyed your blog and always, let me repeat that...always enjoy your writings. As I don't stand out in a crowd, nor do I have the following! But that is ok. I guess I will just have to as you so kindly put it" Kick their Ass! Mona
  • Hell yeah...as we used to say before football games - Kick ass and take names.
  • Hi Nathan,
    This post is so sympathetic to the way I feel. Yeah, as you so aptly put, "Why not develop talent instead of ignoring it?" I've had my share of being ignored by the popular blogger. I sent in a guest post and I got an immediate response saying he would read my post over the weekend. Do you think there was a response after that? No, not one. A simple email saying that it didn't fit his blog theme would've been the right thing to do. I have to say, I haven't read that blog again since that occurrence. I would have more respect for someone that would respond to me with a denial rather than a total blow-off. And, to be honest, there are a lot of people that kiss this blog owner's rear-end for sub-par posts, in my opinion. This may seem like sour grapes but consideration for your fellow blogger should be paramount because you got popular through these same people.
    If/when I move up to the popular status I will always help out people just starting out. It's my nature and it's the right thing to do. Thanks for speaking out. Good stuff!

    Best,
    Bob
  • I was pretty much muttering this the entire time I was flurrying through your article: "If the “in-crowd” won’t let you in, then make your own and kick their ass."

    Damn you. Shoulda put that up top! Anyways, was a good read. Wana join my in crowd? We have protein shakes, eat organic apples and lift heavy shit.
  • Hey Nathan - you're not overreacting. I think there is some truth to it and it can be frustrating for new bloggers for sure. But I'm feeling good that there are a few tiers and folks are all finding each other, joining that group organically, helping each other out and just kicking butt on their own. These will be groups that aren't the same people as the A List bloggers, but they will have a unique identity and do something different than the rest. LOVING Beyond Blogging and glad to be an affiliate.
  • Nathan,

    Wonderful job. I don't think I could have written that better myself.

    While I am not an A-List blogger, I would argue that SOME of those that "forget" where they come from have not forgotten at all. They just don't think of themselves as having "made it" yet.

    Let me explain. As a beginner, we focus on the prize, mainly what lays ahead. Everything we do at this point is to get traction and grow our blog, site, or community. At some point, when the numbers grow, bloggers see their new position as better than before, but still not as good as where they would like to be.

    Therefore, what looks like a snobby blogger may really be someone who still sees the world through their newbie eyes.

    At the same time, I agree with you that the seasoned blogger SHOULD turn around and help those beneath them. There are plenty of bloggers that do.

    With posts like this, we learn that making this behavior apart of our habits now will serve us well as we grow.

    Again, excellent post.
  • I love the idea of building your own tribe through helping other Future Big Guys to get going. It absolutely fits with my background as a Dale Carnegie instructor.

    The expression that captures it for me is 'all boats will rise with the tide'.

    By which I mean that building your tribe of future big guys means that as they grow so you will rise with them.

    I've been at this for a couple of years now and only in the last 6 months or so have I noticed the momentum starting to build. And I love it.

    I'm getting more and more requests for help with things and that gives me a huge kick! I love helping and coaching people, especially as I'm still one of the little guys and, therefore, I totally understand their frustrations. They're my frustrations too.

    I'm delighted to have discovered your blog, Nathan, which I did through your post about stealing the entrepreneurial dream on CopyBlogger.

    Cheers,

    Martin.
  • jadecraven
    Interesting.

    I've never really felt like the little guy or, well, part of any group. Not until recently. I was always just trying to meet new people, learn new stuff. Then I started to learn 'hey, this stuff works.'

    I will say that going out of your way to help people out is AWESOME for getting attention. The 30 bloggers to watch post I did? David Risley has ok'ed me guest posting on his blog. He's someone I just didn't have the time to connect with. James sent me a nice tweets, which I appreciated as I really admire him.

    :-) I'm part of lots of communities. I love how we all sorta mesh. I loved meeting @manvsdebt. I love calling @rockyourday to talk about 2010 awesomeness. I love getting emails with people offering help because they appreciate something I did months ago and forgotten about.

    Methinks its been a long few days and I'm making no sense :-)

    Good stuff, Nathan. Now - gotta work with you on the epic twitip post.

    (erg. Guest blogging everywhere now. I love it coz I learn so much but darn, 2010 has gone off with an unintended bang.)
  • I really agree with what you said about circles of trust. People form alliances ultimately with people they trust. From there the alliance all pitches in and they grow together.

    Great post, Nathan.
  • I've actually been surprised at the positive response I have gotten from everyone I have contacted. I haven't gone straight to the top for A-listers but I've come pretty close.

    I can see their perspective, because I've been there in my mind in another area. It's all about showing people that you're actually serious about what you're doing. There are so many people now that expect you to hand them everything. It's better to wait and see how serious bloggers are.

    No one is going to ignore you if you make a big splash and write guest posts, comment everywhere and take over the twittersphere. It requires work but it's fun when you follow your passion. Do what you love and making a splash is much, much easier.

    Excellent post! :)
  • Nathan,

    This is an awesome post. I was talking with Matt @Lotifewithout Pants and when I asked him what the key to how he's built such a strong community, it was that he involves everybody in the work he does, regardless of whether the are amazing or not. In the end it's about building community.
  • ricky709
    Building a community around you is the most important factor. It will help you to get trusted readers cum friends.
  • Nathen, here's an open invitation to come visit me at Website In A Weekend, where you can see I've been doing exactly this for last 6 months. I accept - no scratch that - I _pursue_ people to guest post who I believe write quality content regardless of their page rank or alexa rating.

    I haven't read BB, Tribes, or Trust Agents yet. Probably will at some point. But everything I've read about those books is what I'm naturally inclined to do anyway.

    I'm applying lessons I learned about building community in meatspace to cyberspace: Give without expectation of return, make people feel good about themselves, don't take anything personally. It's working.
  • Great post! I also think that as a "little guy" you often do not understand how hard the "big guys" worked. How they were working a full time job and blogging every night. We
    tend to look at the success and think it was over night. One of the cool things about David Risley is that he tells about his job at Sam's Club and how he almost lost his entire blog at one point. It helps to see that the hard work will pay off. That even the "big guys" went through the same thing.
  • I hung out with Dave quite a bit in Vegas, and he's a really stand up guy. He also gives away a great amount of value.
  • yeah he is. Luckily I live about 30 minutes from him and attend his monthly meetup group. We got some really good talent here in Tampa lol.
  • And that's exactly why I'm moving there in July-Aug!
  • Really? sweet, make sure to look me up. Unless it's to help you unload a truck lol.
  • Oh, I see how it is! haha will do.
  • ;-)
  • Your #2 dedication made me laugh out loud, so thanks.

    You've astutely put into words many of the feelings that I have about the whole A-list-insider-good-old-boys blogging clubs. When you first start out blogging, it seems like you have to wiggle your way into one of those clubs if you want to succeed.

    Meanwhile, there are multitudes of unknown bloggers publishing great work and original ideas, but nobody notices them because they haven't caught the attention of the mainstream.

    I think you're promoting the perfect solution through community building. Sure, you can chase, seduce, impress, and suck up to the big guys and get your foot in the door to join the ranks of their armies. Or you can just build your own.
  • I aim to please! (First draft was a bit more harsh, but didn't want to get crazy)

    It does seem like there's no other way doesn't it? I think the truth is that by the time you've worked your way into that group, you don't need them anymore.
  • I realized early that's its hard to be noticed by those A-bloggers. And so I did not pursue their attention. You are right when you say that we should make our own. If I were to make my slot in the blogging world I will do my best to elevate above them, after all, we are the ones who are responsible for our own success. Everything we need is within us, we just need to trust ourselves, do our best, learn, be persistent, be patient and make an action. Each of us has a potential for greatness, we just need to allow it unto ourselves. :-)
  • Walter, what I'm seeing with Mike and Nathen is that pursuing the A-list isn't difficult, it's just time consuming. But anyone can do it. Keeping their attention after you get it, that's a whole nother issue.
  • What you just said: "everything we need is within us" is a very strong and powerful message. I believe it 100%.
  • First of all, this airs a lot of what I've felt and probably why I chose not to play their game. My analogy is, "too many people fishing off the same pier" I will stop there lest I shoot myself in the foot.
  • Love that analogy. It's true...we all need to push and break boundaries.

    One of the reasons I wrote this: http://nathanhangen.com/blog/recycling-sucks/
  • A great post, and one that I've experienced in the past but not so much recently. Almost everyone I contacted on my current launch responded yes or no, but at least they responded and knew who I was due to my long (though often infrequent) interactions with them.
    There's a hierarchy everywhere you go in life, and I like your attitude immensely, let's push the limits!
  • Glad to hear that it's the same with others. Simply a matter of being there over time...grinding it out.
  • remarkablogger
    Most of big bloggers I know are also the humblest, but yes their time and attention are limited. I've always taken some pride in not chasing after the big names and kissing their asses, but instead, looking for new quality "little guys" to support. Anybody can request a guest post on my blog, but almost nobody ever does. I would retweet anyone's tweet as long as it's right for my followers, but hardly anybody ever asks me to.

    If you see yourself as a "little guy" then you'll treat yourself like a little guy and allow others to have power over you in ways you don't even realize. Far better instead to see yourself as a "future big guy" on the way to success. This simple change in how you view yourself will make a HUGE difference in how you act and in the plans you make. And that will make a huge difference in the results you get. Before you know it, you will be a "big guy."

    Here's to all the future "big guys" out there! :-)
  • Michael, seeing myself as a little guy is the my single biggest hurdle.
  • remarkablogger
    I don't see you as a little guy. I see you as a FUTURE BIG GUY.

    I started from nothing and now I'm not doing too badly. If I can do it,
    anyone can. There's nothing special about me. I'm just a regular guy like
    everyone else, except I'm driven to succeed. If you want it badly enough,
    you'll make it happen.
  • Michael, I won every battle I ever fought.

    Great way to lose a war.

    Thanks for your encouragement, I really appreciate it.
  • Hear, hear, Michael.

    I don't know if I'm in the big guy or little guy or rising guy group or what. But I do very well remember being the guy who just got started. I was coming out of left field, I was determined, and I never - EVER - called myself the little guy, unless it was to give one warning to the bigger bloggers:

    Always keep your eye on the little guy. ;)

    And today, whatever my popularity might be, people who are just getting started email me. People who have 10 readers ask for help, or want me to read a post quickly, or who want my opinion on an avatar... whatever. They ask, I answer as best I can.

    Because I remember just starting out. And while my time is limited, I think everyone deserves the respect of being treated like an equal, big or small.
  • I told my dad this evening that it's easier than ever before to become a sole source authority, winner take all on the internet.

    It's also easier now than ever before to lose it. And I think we'll see it too. When one of the Big Boys goes down, someone else will step in chop chop.
  • remarkablogger
    Amen, James. We all start from the same place: the beginning.
  • Deep down I knew I wouldn't give up until I made it, but I wasn't sure what "making it" looked like. (Still not sure LOL).

    Sometimes, there's just not enough time in the day. To an inspired blogger, it looks like you're being a jerk, but to the blogger that has so many emails they forget which ones they've replied to...it's a different story.

    You've always been great with email James, definitely one of the good ones (Michael too). Just wish we could wrangle you out to bwe!
  • Damn man, you have a way of seeing things that's unique, I really like that.

    I agree with you now that I know a lot of the bloggers in my niche, but before then, I admit I was a bit resentful. I tried to represent both sides here to try and bridge the gap.

    Love what you said about acting like a big guy. It's true...self-empowerment. There's a TON of room in this industry. You don't need to cozy up to get ahead.

    It's all about playing the big game, and not the little game. Sometimes, it's tough to see the forest for the trees, but that's when guys like you come in and give us a ride :)
  • Debbie Ferm
    I've got news for you two (Nathan and MikeCJ) You're not the little guys anymore:)
  • You're much too sweet. I'll believe it when a reader tells me how I've helped them become a success :)
  • I was totally going to say this. :)
  • Debbie Ferm
    Hi Nathan,

    I just wrote almost an identical post a couple of days ago comparing "this place" to middle school. I'm a middle shool teacher, and it is interesting to see kids come in the first day of sixth grade and watch the action for three years. until the graduate to high school. It's like a little experiment in anthropology.

    It's easy to see both sides of the equation, especially if you have done other things in your life where you've had some success. Being the new guy in town is tough, but being the person everyone wants something from in no picnic either. There's definitely a balance to both.

    I've learned over the years that, yeah, there are going to be a few Jackasses, but most people are just trying to make it through their own day. I may not have been linking or trying to guest post yet, but I have to say that everyone I've come across has been decent.

    Good points you've made.

    Debbie Ferm
  • It's going to get a lot worse as social media becomes more and more pervasive. With no privacy, the monkey pack will take over. Reputation repair becomes exceedingly difficult.

    I worry about this. Not too much, but a little.

    Then again, I know great gobs of people who do incredible work who would be considered to have horrible reputations by people who care about such things... but I'd hire them in a heart beat if I could afford them.
  • Definitely...it's tough for both, and if you (not you specifically) don't stop the negative thinking, you end up with a me vs. them mentality. I was like that for quite some time until I realized that blogging is just like any other business...you have to earn your pay and your acceptance into the community.
  • Nathan, you have one of the best dead-on quotes for success I've seen that wraps up everything I believe in:

    "Your job then, is to become the cream of the crop."

    It goes along with a phrase I use a lot talking to amateur "little guy" comedians who are struggling to get noticed: (you wouldn't believe how parallel both worlds really are)

    "Be so good at what you do that you can't possibly be ignored."
  • Gotta agree with Jordan here. Nathan, you've developed nice quotability to your writing and I like that a lot. I liked how this post flowed, starting with kind of a rant and then delivering the goods on the latter part.
  • I added that to the original post tonight, because I thought the first draft was too negative. I like to offer a solution, and not just complain, you know?

    It's a tough reality, but I'm so competitive that I see it more of a challenge than anything.
  • Yes, you turned it around very well.
  • Great post, especially the build a community aspect. If you are serious about blogging then it is important to establish relationships with fellow bloggers (in your niche) that are at or around the same range you are. This will, in the long run, help you out - as long as the first community member to make it big doesn't leave everyone else hanging.
  • That's something I just discovered, because before now I didn't really understand the game as much.

    I've watched it happen on a lot of community blogs, and I think it works well as long as there is a mutual work ethic and respect.
  • I'm all for making our own in-crowd, and we already have some awesome people amongst our communities.

    Let's promise ourselves that we won't ever forget what it's like to be the little guy.
  • Mike, I deal with this IRL with people who haven't grown. They have seen me grow, but they won't accept changes, I'm with you about remembering what it's like. But it's a two-way street. The little guy who won't put in the time, I won't have the time for. Sounds cold, probably is cold, told myself I would never be that way, but now that I have success in one area I can see how it divides. There's nothing for it.

    Game on.
  • That's a goal I'm sticking with. The blogging niche seems crowded because no one is pushing limits...let's blow those limits out of the water.
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