Nathan Hangen

The Jack Bauer Guide to Being a Bad Ass

Note: There’s a mix of fun and business in this one, so try not to take it too seriously.

Jack Bauer could kick Chuck Norris’ ass with a toothpick and a piece of copper wire.

He can move so fast that he could go back in time to kill Hitler before he killed himself…just because he didn’t have anything else to do.

Jack is such a pimp that he makes carrying a man purse look cool.

Seriously…a man purse full of guns…how much better can it get?

Anyway, it should come to no surprise to you that Jack came to me to tell you how to be a bad ass because:

#1 My post about Batman pissed him off.

#2 For the most part…bloggers are pretty lame, and we could use a lesson in bad-assness.

So here it is…

The 10 Rules to being a bad ass, according to Jack Bauer:

1. Rules are for Punks

When was the last time you saw Jack even acknowledge a rule or a law? To Jack, they’re just speed-bumps…all that matters is that he saves the President or stops the bomb from exploding. Rules are for punks.

In your case, there’s a goal that’s more important to you than anything else in the world. If you really want it, then you won’t let anyone get in the way.

If someone gets in the way, then you act first and apologize later. Once you save the world, no one is going to care that you broke a few rules.

2. His Word

Jack doesn’t lie unless there’s a life on the line. If he gives his word to you, regardless of whether you’re the President or Bin Laden…you can coun’t on him keeping it.

Your word is your bond with readers and customers. If you say you’re going to do something, then do it. The only way to build a tribe is if they believe in you.

3. Whisper Scream

You don’t have to scream to show people that you mean business. A true bad ass doesn’t need to…

Jack uses the whisper scream to intimidate his opponents. He doesn’t yell…his whisper scream makes grown men cry.

You don’t have to overreact or act crazy in order to get attention. It’s the content, not the method, that gets the job done.

4. Be Relentless

When was the last time you saw Jack take no for an answer? Have you ever seen him give up or wait for someone else to do his job for him?

No…never.

Being relentless in your efforts to achieve is the only way ahead. If you aren’t willing to work longer, harder, and with more purpose than your competitors, then you will lose.

You are never down for the count and there is always a reason to get your ass back up.

5. Be Resourceful

I’ve seen Jack fight with chains, lampshades, saws, hands, legs, and teeth. Jack is never without a weapon.

Being resourceful means you find a way to finish the job even when you are out of options. It means finding a way to make it work instead of ditching the project, and being

scrappy enough to keep your blog alive when things get tough.

There are millions of tools available all around us…use them.

6. Know Your Enemy

If you don’t know what you’re doing, then you’ll fail. If you don’t know who you are fighting against or why you are fighting, then you won’t make it.

Have something to believe in and use that passion to fuel your blog.

Jack spends every free second he has looking at satellite images, case files, and phone records until he finds the only clue that can set them free. He’s the only one that can do it, and that’s why he’s such a bad ass.

You can’t just jump in to a firefight…you need to know your stuff. That means doing your research and becoming an authority on the subject/s you blog about.

Are you speaking with knowledge or speaking with ideas?

7. Make Sure they Understand

I’m going to kick your ass leftways and sideways, do you understand me!

Jack could tell you that he’s going to electrocute your fingernails until you cry, but he’ll ask you if you understand first…he’ll give you a chance.

Give your audience a chance before your fry them. Tell them what you’re doing so that they know what they’re supposed to do. You can’t expect people to understand what you’re trying to do unless you make it obvious.

Don’t be afraid to ask for the sale or to use calls to action. Of course, it’s not legal to use torture to those that don’t buy, but they don’t know that

8. Work Hard Today to Live Tomorrow

Jack doesn’t sleep until the job is done. He doesn’t make excuses or wait until tomorrow when he could accomplish the mission today.

Busting your ass now means you don’t have to tomorrow. When my kids ask me why I work twice as hard as most dads, I tell them it’s because tomorrow, I’m going to show you the world.

There’s no reason to put off destiny when today is calling. Just don’t forget rule #2.

9. Wait Until It’s Over to Cry

Jack cries…a lot, but you’ll never catch him crying when anyone’s life is on the line. He waits until it’s all over, and even then, he cries by himself.

Are you crying on Twitter or on your blog? Are you crying in comments?

Leaders inspire confidence in their readers. There’s nothing wrong with asking for a lift, but try to stay composed. Nobody likes a whiner.

10. This is Serious – Keep Your Game Face On

For many of us, a blog is a business, and although relationships are great, it’s business that pays the bills.

We have a lot of distractions, like Twitter and Facebook…blog comments, and email.

Most of them can wait.

Find what can’t and work it. Get your game face on and prove that you are serious about this. Your audience, partners, and supporters will respect you for it.

That’s the list he left me with, what do you think?

Of course, I wouldn’t question what he has to say, but feel free to let me know which rules you think apply and which don’t. Just remember though, that one wrong move, and Jack will be kicking down your door and pulling plugs out of lamps…and you know what that means.

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